Out There by Henry Alford

Author:Henry Alford
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9780679647010
Publisher: Random House Publishing Group
Published: 2001-01-15T00:00:00+00:00

PART V

ONCE, HE PERFORMED HIS UNUSUAL SKILL IN A RESTAURANT, STARTLING A WAITRESS

Chapter 11

A curious kind of syllogistic reasoning exists on the Internet. The reasoning is as follows: all famous people have websites on the Internet; therefore, if I have a website, I am famous.

While reconnoitering the Net, I came across hundreds of sites whose orientation could be said to be personality-based, or celebrity-based.

I looked at the site of a “slim and handsome race car driver” who is anxious to prove to the world that “a great personal appearance” and a “huge personal interest in heavy-duty motors” is not “a contradiction” [www.rubberburner.com].

I looked at a site of a dj named Super Greg who hopes that his site “gives u a flava of the Super Greg Concept.” Riding shotgun on the Super Greg Concept are his homeboys “Roccy” and “Rashy” [www.supergreg.com].

I looked at the site of “mathemusician” Lawrence Mark Lesser, a guitar-playing math teacher who has changed the lyrics of the Julie Gold song “From a Distance” so that it is about graphs, and likewise has changed the lyrics to the Queen song “We Will Rock You” to “We Will Graph You” (“We will, we will graph you!”). Mr. Lesser is, apparently, passionate about all things Cartesian [www.nctm.org/mt/2000/05/songs.htm].

I looked at the site of the overpublicized Turkish stud Mahir, who plays many “musicenstrumans” and who “can invitate to Turkey (she can stay my house)” [www.members.nbci.com/_XMCM/primall/mahir/081199.htm].

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